HOPE

Thriving!!!!

I am happy to report all scans look great! Another year I remain cancer free!  xoxo

Another time around waiting for an answer.

I am going to let you inside of my heart as I wait for an Ultra Sound of my left breast to see what showed up in my annual breast MRI. I received a phone call from the nurse practitioner on Friday to come in and have another test to make sure a spot that came up is nothing anything of concern. I always wait for the phone call after a scan or test anxiously but not to this extent. It was like a punch in the stomach this phone call. She assured me it was nothing!! The radiologists had mixed opinions about the readings and because of my history it was smart to come and make sure everything continues to be okay. I know that is what the doctors job are and they are only looking out for me! I just have had a lump in my throat over this scare. I am finally doing great, feeling healthy, everything working, and getting ready for positive changes  coming soon. I am back to work full time and I don't have the energy for this health crap again. I thought to myself the other day, "things are going to good". I was finally creeping away from feeling like the other shoe was going to drop. I HOPE and pray I am being overly dramatic and  anxiety ridden over nothing. Which there is a HUGE chance I am, but I am just so mad at cancer and cancer scares right now. It has stirred a lot of emotions up and anger. I hate cancer and it effects it has on survivors, patients, and caregivers. It is not fair. It is a disease that can take away so much and make one live in fear that does diminish over time. I think... I have very special people fighting the disease right now and I just want it to go away for them all. No body should have to succumb to the cancer world!! I am venting and I hope all you understand I am just upset, but I will wake up tomorrow and face some answers and take it from there!! There needs to be a cure or extinction of cancer someday I pray that all the time. I am one tough cookie and will be FINE, like mom says I have to be:) I just wanted to share some words from a cancer patient-survivor-thriver... We all share the same feelings, concerns, and hopes!! I will check back, I promise once I get the a-okay again!!!! Love to all!   Carrie

Reality.

Hi everyone,

It has been way to long since I have posted here. My apologies! I am happy to report my health continues to improve and I am feeling great. It is amazing to me how the body works and what a hit I took after chemotherapy and hormone therapy. I believe now all that toxic crap is out of my system and nothing in my body is being suppressed. I think this is what my insides needed. I take a lot of medication to help my tummy but it is worth it to not ever go back to where I was a few years ago. That being said, I am happy to report I only have to see my oncologist twice a year as well as all my other docs. It is wonderful not being in and out of appointments and tests. I thank god for my health back! ( I am knocking on wood right now) I have been able to return back to work full time after two and a half years!! I also recently got a significant promotion at work.

So many things have been happening all around me. On a happy note my cousin got married and she looked beautiful and so incredibly happy! On a sadder note but optimistic a very good friend of mine back in high school recently found out her young son has cancer. We got in touch again and I think of her everyday. I also had the privilege to care for him in the hospital. There was recently a benefit for him and what a huge showing of love and support he and his family have. So I ask you add him to your prayer list as he is doing as well as a 6 year old can be during chemo and surgeries right now. Love you, Harrison! Also one of my best friends got engaged to her partner and will marry next summer. I am so happy for her as she deserves forever happiness!!  One of the hardest things I had to cope with this  summer was the passing of my best friend, Hunter Chiavaroli/Letham, my ten and a half year old yellow lab companion dog!! He was my best friend, son, and treasured pet. He fell ill about 2 months prior to his passing. It was so sad to watch but he did get better for a brief time then he just took a turn for the worst. Hunter passed in my arms and I was with him all day as he started to fail. He is in many hearts and will forever be remembered!!!! I miss him terribly and still can't believe he is gone... Michael and I both loved him very much and talk about him daily . He was my chemo buddy and was always there on my lap when I felt awful after treatments, it was if he knew I was sick as he never left my side when I was home alot! Rest in peace Hunter I will see you again somedY!!!!! Mommy loves you :( BUT since then we have adopted a wonderful mutt! Sounds funny, huh? Her name is Bella and she fits right in but much smaller and no lab :) She is a cuddle bug and has a great disposition. She is only 7 months old and we look forward to many years with her. Hunter is her guardian angel and he would of loved his sister!

I am going to blog about some feelings recently and just ask for some inner peace. I have been looking back a little to the the whole picture of what I went through after being diagnosed with cancer and the setbacks in life to where I may be today if never getting ill. I know better than anyone you should not look back and put the past in the past and focus on the future from here on out! I am trying so hard to get there again and I know I will. Just so many things in life right now feel  unachievable. My emotions got the best of me recently and my reality just saddens me. I try to be positive to what I can achieve if I try again (school). Hopefully all the others things will fall into place. I can only pray and ask for god to continue to watch over me and give me the strength to be positive! There are  alot of life  challenges challenging me right now :) I have had to many meltdowns recently and just need to pull it together and chin up!!!!! That being said I thank all of you for thinking of me often, keeping me in your prayers and  thoughts!! I am a SURVIOR and I am trying to THRIVE!!! Love to all xoxoxo

 

April 20,2008

Hi.  I t has been yet again a long time since an update. With a smile on my face I am happy to be checking in positively. I am doing good, working my allotted hours, and my head is clear. Everyday is different but I am getting through each day better and better.  Work has been busy again and I continue to meet a variety of families and encounter new learning experiences daily. The dream of being an RN is still there... someday, someday. Mom and Dad will be returning home for the summer the middle of May. Mom has had to return briefly twice this past winter season due to my recent scare, and a very dear friend passing. Which leads me to briefly tell you about an amazing angelic like woman names Mrs. Tanguy ( aka Shirley Tanguy). I was fortunate to enough to befriend the Tanguy's since I was adopted 33 years ago. My family and there family shared many many years of trips to New Hampshire skiing with tons of family and friends, Going to Meeting House Ln. for pool fun, extravagant dinners, playing with all the grandchildren that I played a huge part in their lives, and the loss of their grandchild and my god daughter ALYSA. I can't even begin to tell you all the memories we shared. Well I was fortunate anough to say good bye to Mrs. Tanguy and she told me " she love me and I was beautiful" just like Mrs. Tanguy always tiold me. My heart breaks though right now for her husband of 37 years, Mr. Tanguy ( aka Alex) The are the perfect couple and share a rare and special love. He will miss her very much. HE is doing well either :(  RIP Shirley and give my ALysa a big hug from me!!!! Tell her I love her and think of her daily!

Back to me ... hahah.... I will have a minimal invasive procedure tomorrow. UGH!! I will be back on my feet 48 hours after, not bad at all! I hope to increase my work load soon and continue to further look into nursing schools. Love to all !!!!!!!! XOXOX

Journey of HOPE Update.

Hi to everyone. It has been a long time since a medical update and I wish I was reporting with happier news. Recently after a routine physical  I found out I had some extra tests that would be needed to be done. I was told this on Friday so it was a long and anxiety filled weekend. My mom flew home from from FL to be by my side yet again. She is a SAINT. I felt awful as she had guests at her home in Marco, my other mother Mrs. Souke and another couple. I stayed as busy as possible and friends all around. I worked Monday but even that was difficult. I have had my hopes and dreams get stepped on so many times and it is just exhausting. I do not want o do the "poor me" thing, because I know IT could be way worse. Something is going on but it could be small and taken care of very easily.(best scenario)

Today my mom and Aunt joined for me for a quick yet uncomfortable procedure. I was pretty sleepy and dopey all day. I am awake and alert now and feel better and positive yet again. I am not done with these tests but I will just get through them and take it from there with mom and all my family and friends by my side. I continue to love my job and strive towards nursing school. so just a little favor to ask all of you keep me and my health in your thoughts and prayers. I will keep you posted as I get information myself. Love to all!!!!!! XOXO

Checking in...

Hi everyone, it has been a long time since I have posted an update. In many ways that is good. My overall health is 50%  better and  my quality of life has improved at least 80% better! I always wondered why the doctors ask me questions in percents, but I understand why now. It is a quick, understood, and validated statement. Things have really turned the corner for me. I am working part time, looking into nursing programs again, ( that is HUGE for me) and eating comfortably again. I recently visited mom and dad in Marco Island , FL and had another wonderful visit. I recently posted a new Marco album in my albums. I was able to get some sun, quality time with parents, and RR! I continue to love work every shift I encounter and thankfully I have those shifts with our economy today. Michael and Hunter are great. Hunter turned 10 years old this past December. He is slowing down a little but still is as lovable as  a teddy bear. He is so smart and I am so thankful for that. He is my baby and I love him dearly. I am now having my GI care at MGH and am very thankful new medications that are working. It took some time for my body to adjust but it is working. I will reach my 6 year cancer anniversary on March 6, 2003 @ 8:27am. This anniversary has many new meanings this year such as, I will continue "The Annual Walk" of Hope in October. It was canceled last year due to my health. So it is great to be in a different spot this year. I will walk for recent losses of loved ones from breast cancer. Also a dear friend of the heart of mine is losing her battle with breast cancer right now and my heart is breaking for her but at the same time I just want her to be at peace and NOT suffering anymore! She will leave a legacy that will be forever remembered!! I love you, Denise.  And lastly on a lower note I will wait again for another test to confirm I remain cancer free in the near future. Nothing at all to be worried about  but being a "cancer survivor" you always worry in the  back of your mind. I call these bumps in the road and I will get over them I just hate them!!!! You work so hard to be where you are today and life throws snow balls at you. No fair :) But that is the thing about life we are going to be challenged on a daily basis and it is that , that does not break you but makes you stronger. I have to mention quickly that I am currently taking a class on the mental effect of tof the  past 6 years have given me.  haha   I am finally learning new coping skills and relaxtion techniques. The  first night I was there I was in tears and saying the "what the hell did I just get myself into?" I am now almost done with the class and have learned so many useful tecniques in just calming down and stay focused  and in the positive. It has helped tremendously. It is also like a life skills class. I have defintely benefitted from it and may take it again in the future who knows I  recommnd it for anyone. It is the Mind Body Program at the Benson Center in Boston and run through MGH. This all being said I remain postive, happy , and THANKFUL for so many thing especially my health care team, family and friends continual support, and Holly & Heidi!!!!!!!!!!! I will check in again soon , I promise. Love to all!!!!!!!!!!!   XOXO Carrie

Waiting for Morgan Josephine Angle...

One of my life long best friends is expecting her first very soon. I couldn't be more happier for her and the precious baby to have Angela as a mom. I love havineg new and happy memories! Thank you, thank you, thank you from above and everyone involved in my life.

***R.I.P. Danica***

I met Danica at the YSC conference in 2007. She was so very nice, outgoing, and positive. We chatted a few times but emailed mostly. I recently found out she has passed away from this horrible disease, cancer. I know she will be remembered by many people especially her children and family. She was way to young to go. I will hold another angel close to my heart. Love you Danica....

Carrie, Beth, Kristi, and Danica

Walk of HOPE Postponed!!!

Here is theletter I emailed to many of you but I don't think many received it as I got a few emails telling me they could not open it. Love to All...

Dear Family and Friends,

    It is with mixed feelings that I am writing to let you know about my annual
“Walk of HOPE”.

    I am very excited because of a unique opportunity that I have. I have been invited to attend this week’s multi-network telethon fund-raiser, “ STAND UP TO CANCER” It  is on Friday, September 5, from 8to 9 p.m. This event will be on all three major networks, sponsored by Katie Couric, Brian Williams, and Charlie Gibson.

    Yes, I am traveling at the invitation of my friend, Jenn Reeves, a fellow breast cancer survivor, who like me is celebrating her fifth year of survivorship! We will fly to Los Angeles, where we will walk the RED CARPET attend this worthwhile and exciting event.

    Because I understand all the worthwhile charitable demands that are made on all of us, I am just POSTPONING my annual walk until October of 2009. Instead I am asking my friends and family to call in during this  telethon to make a donation to eradicate all forms of cancer!!

    As some of you may know, I have had a particularly tough year with problems caused by  recurrence , but by side effects of treatments I received. I feel I am now turning the corner and having my health restored! I can’t thank you enough for your past support. Memories of my walks have boosted my spirits when I needed it the most.

    Most of all , I appreciate the generous support of the sponsors of my walk, the three Patty’s in my life:
Patty Anderson,         Head Over Hells Gymnastics, Norwell
Patty Souke            New England medical Fitting, Weymouth
Patty Davies            The Davies Family, Patty, Billy, Jessica, Emily, and Joey

Thank you everyone again. I am fortunate to have such supportive friends and family. You all make a difficult journey a lot easier.

I look forward to seeing you at my “ Walk of HOPE” in 2009.

                    Love,
                    Carrie Letham
                    “ 5 Year Survivor”

Jenn Reeves

Have I ever told you about one of my best friend Jenn Reeves? It is a unique, interesting and compelling story..... I will give you the brief version.

Jenn and I were in high school together. We knew each other but hung around with different friends. I would see Jenn in school and say Hi. I think we were at a few parties together  too. Also Jenn and I lived on the same street, Essex St. It is a very long and windy road but I lived at one end and she lived at the other. Then we graduated in 1993 and went on with life like everyone does after graduation. T In 2003 I was diagnosed with breast cancer and began it's journey. A friend contacted me six months after my diagnosis and told me Jenn had been diagnosed with breast cancer. I immediately gave her my number and we talked for about 2 and half hours the first phone call. We established  yet again a friendship that this time would take on a whole new meaning. We were now sisters in survivorship! And now today 2008 we are very dear friends. Jenn has the heart of gold but sometimes her heart is very sad.Recently Jenn invited to an event in LA called " Stand Up 2 Cancer" It is going to a very memorable moment for everyone in the nation. It is a telethon including many celebrities and the message of that many of us hold close to our hearts  and the effect cancer has on you.  The Awareness of CANCER.  Their are way to many people of ALL ages that are being diagnosed with this awful scary, life altering disease. The word needs to really get to everyone that HELP is needed. That is what Stand Up 2 Cancer is all about. Anyways I will have the honor of accompanying Jenn to this event!!!!!!! I am still in shock! I can't believe first of all I feel my body can do this, and the desire to go and represent cancer as a SURVIVOR. Also with my sister in survivorship, Jenn.I I I can't begin to thank you Jenn for a trip that was unexpected and needed.

So that is my Jenn story and not only has she been there for my numerous phone calls freaking out she has been by my side in the ER for 12+ hours, Jenn is also an amazing caregiver to all that know her. Thank you and I love!!! Carrie